50 Quotes that will Eventually Become Useful to You

One day you will need some advice. Here are some quotes that will one day be helpful. Some are from me and some are from more qualified people. A good amount are from Nora Ephron.

– “Make the show you want because they’ll cancel you anyways.” – Ed. Weinberger (TV producer)

– In the end, the world is filled with idiots and you’re one of them. I hope you’re happy with what you’ve become.

– “A fearless man is, I think, a fool, or a robot.” – Federico Fellini (filmmaker)

– “I highly recommend having Meryl Streep play you. If your husband is cheating on you with a car hop, get Meryl to play you. If you get rear-ended in a parking lot have Meryl Streep play you. If the dingo eats your baby, call Meryl. ” – Nora Ephron (writer)

– “Whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.” – Conan O’Brien (comedian)

– Don’t listen to music when you’re trying to write. You just feed off someone else’s creativity.

– Kill them with kindness; and when they aren’t dead, tell them to get fucked.

– Everyone has problems. It’s what you do to deal with them that makes people care.

– “Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.” – Joseph Campbell (academic)

– “There isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story.” – Mister Rogers (children’s television host)

– “The answer to everything is 42.” – Douglas Adams (writer)

– “And so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will that says to them: Hold on!” – Rudyard Kipling (writer)

– There is no such thing as cool; just varying degrees of lame.

– “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin.

– “No matter how black, white, male, female, Irish, German, tall, short, ugly or pretty you felt this year, you are part of a family that has been targeted by an unforgiving cosmos since its inception but has, regardless, survived … humanity, warts and all, is an inherently heroic species that has spent about 99.99% of its short lifetime as an underdog. And if you see no billboards telling you that, it’s not because it’s not true. It’s because there’s little to no profit to be made telling you. I could go on and on about the suffering we’ve endured and the adaptations we’ve made, but to me, our species’ crowning jewel is that on the shortest day of the year, when the sun spends most of its time swallowed, when everything is frozen, when nothing can grow, when the air is so cold our voices stop right in front of our faces … we put a string of lights on a universe that is currently doing nothing to earn it. We not only salvage an otherwise desolate time of year, we make it the best time of year.” – Dan Harmon (writer)

– “If you ever accidentally drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ’em go, because man, they’re gone.” – Jack Handy (humorist)

– “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else, when you’re uncool.” – Cameron Crowe (filmmaker)

– “I would certainly choose to live in innocence. But innocence can only be wisdom in a world without evil.” – John Patrick Shanley (writer)

– “There are books in which the backs and covers are by far the best part.” – Charles Dickens (writer)

– “Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.” – Arthur Miller (playwright)

– “There’s always money in the banana stand.” – George Bluth, Sr. (possible criminal)

– Don’t trust anyone who squints their eyes all the time. You don’t know what they’re trying to see.

– Public transportation is your friend. Vote for someone who wants to improve it.

– “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.” – Robert Herrick (poet)

– Listening to B.B. King while driving around aimlessly at night creates the greatest feeling of sadness.

– If you put on Marvin Gaye during sex, you are probably not ready for sex.

– If your ultimate goal is to make it seem like you’re smart, listen to jazz. Unless you really like jazz; in which case you’re just cool.

– Normal is just a word that inadequate people created to feel superior.

– “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter.” – Tina Fey (comedienne)

– “Mastery is about sacrificing for you craft, and not for the sake of crafting your career.” – Sarah Lewis (academic)

– “Webster’s dictionary defines the word ‘awesome’ as fear mingled with admiration or reverence. With that in mind, was your Quizno’s sandwich awesome?” – Jill Shargaa (comedienne)

– Don’t go to school because you want to get a good job. Go to go school because you want to become better at something you love.

– Love isn’t a serious thing so don’t take it too seriously.

– “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.” – John Hughes (filmmaker)

– “Everything sounds more profound when said by Abraham Lincoln.” – Abraham Lincoln (head of state)

– “Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished.” – Dan Gilbert (academic)

– “All the tools in the world are meaningless without an essential idea.” – George Lois (advertiser)

– “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” – Nora Ephron (writer)

– Don’t date musicians, they love too much.

– “I don’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx (comedian)

– “Insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.” – Nora Ephron (writer)

– “Don’t hit someone unless they hit you back.” – Uncle Bubba (uncle)

– “Violence isn’t inherent in one’s religion or race.” – Zak Ebrahim (activist)

– “Good things get better, bad get worse. Wait! I think I meant that in reverse.” – Stephen Sondheim (composer)

– “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron (writer)

– “Remember the first one through the wall always gets hurt.” – Aaron Sorkin (writer)

– “A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing!” – David Mamet (playwright)

– “Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue.” – Eugene O’Neill (playwright)

– “Don’t ever knowingly work for bad people.” – George Lois (advertiser)

– “A true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love.” – Che Guevara (political leader)

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